Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
