just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
