I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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