She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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