Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
