The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
