I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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