you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
