I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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