Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i've created a new STD.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
