when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
