arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
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You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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