I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
