Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
