Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
