I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
