So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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