I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
