Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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