And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
