It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think your dad took our porno
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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