Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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