I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
