She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
