its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
