how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
