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Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Randomize
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