Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.