I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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