I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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