I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
