Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Less talking, more tequila
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
