kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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