she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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