Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Where is the hickey?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize