I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
