I hate your face
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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