ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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