Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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