I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
