Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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