Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
