I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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