Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I see more hoeing in ur future
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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