I can't watch pbs sober anymore
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
