You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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