omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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