just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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