i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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