i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
