Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
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I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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