Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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