so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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