His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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