She said her name was "party"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
