I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
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Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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