Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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