i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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