Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
