Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize