i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
