Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
