farters have to be the big spoon...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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