living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
