Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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