How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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